How To Handle Criticism
Do you find it ugly to fail? Think about it!
Sooner or later, we all encounter criticism in some form. The trick is not to avoid criticism, but to use it to your advantage.
Each week, I meet lots of people trying to get ahead in life, in one way or another. They have tried it all, such as setting objectives, creating an action plan and have invested 100 percent. Yet they fail. Why is that?
I have noticed that many of us, are governed entirely by the fear of criticism. I am talking not only about the criticism from managers, buyers and suppliers, but the criticism that we carry with us every day, throughout our lives.
Where does all this criticism from? Ninety percent of all the criticism is created by ourselves, and when the environment reacts to what we radiate, we receive scathing criticism back. The more afraid we are of being criticized, the more likely it is that we will get criticism in some form.
Often there are two ways to behave when you have this self-critical approach. One is by never doing anything with your life and be invisible in all situations, while the second is to actually be visible and go forward, regardless of the criticism. Whichever method you use, the truth comes out, and you will get scathing criticism, whether you are passive or active.
The solution lies not on the outside, but rather to dissolve all the fear that many go around carrying with them. Where does this fear come from? Our entire society is built on it that it is ugly to fail, and if you do it that once, you are written off forever as being an unworthy.
But if you look at the individuals who really have managed externally, as Henry Ford with the car, and with Edison and the light bulb, they have failed more times than they succeeded. Yet they went down in history as real winners.
Since childhood we have learned that it is ugly to fail. Our parents have learned from their parents to do it right the first time. But have you seen a small child learn to walk all at once, or one who has learned to talk in a day? According to today's standards, they would then be classified as failures to start businesses, become executives or even to be employed.
The key is to learn that it is ok to fail. Companies and individuals agree to hire people who have big plans, and who dares to succeed and fail. Without the power, we would still live in caves and no company would exist.
How do we then, deal with the scathing self-criticism that puts an end to so many people's success and dreams?
Here are four tips to being successful with criticism:
1. Find out what kind of criticism that you are afraid to get from others
2. Find out if you also criticize yourself, year in and year out
3. Learn to ignore the criticism that does not help you to grow (about 99 percent of all criticism)
4. Consider the criticism is justified and convert it into opportunities for you (about 1 percent of all criticism)
Keep in mind that the biggest critic is yourself, and it is only you who can change yourself and develop yourself so that you become a winner to handle criticism.
Good Luck!
Hans Thorn, Success Coach
http://www.personalcoachingonline.com
Friday, November 28, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Bipolar Disorder: Signs, Symptoms, And Causes
Symptoms of Bipolar disorder have been found in a greater percentage of women across America. Survey suggests that the count of women getting diagnosed with the disorder increases every year. The signs and symptoms can vary from mild to severe. There may even time when a person does seem to be normal. So Let s take a look at this psychiatric disease.
Signs of Bipolar Disorder
Characterized by mood disorder, bipolar disorder is identified as shift in the mood, energy and functioning ability of a woman. You can further distinguish it by a woman experiencing several cycles of manic episode. Their episodes involve abnormally elevated frame of mind along with depressive symptoms or episodes. But, what actually causes these episodes?
Causes (or Triggers) behind Bipolar Disorder
Causes behind bipolar disorder in women have always puzzled scientists. Some researches have unearthed theories. However, no one yet has pinpointed the true trigger (external factors) of this malady. Let us have an understanding of some of these triggers, which have been uncovered by scientists through their researches on the disorder:
Makeup of a woman’s brain: Researches have indicated that difference in the makeup of a woman’s brain might be one of the causes for bipolar disorder. Two imperative regions of her brain can contain more of those cells, which send signals to every other part of the brain. Theory suggests that these cells can lead to an over stimulation of their organ. This correlates with what we recognize as a bipolar disorder symptom.
Role of Genetics: One of the researches also revealed that Genetics can play a role in causing bipolar disorder. Surveys amongst families of women with this disorder, have been done for supporting this theory. Studies showed that parents, brothers, sisters or children, who have the disorder, are usually apt for a certain type of mood disorder. In case of identical twins, there is 80 chance of both having the disorder, if one is already carrying it.
Stressful Environment: Some scientists even feel that stress filled life might also be a major factor behind precipitating bipolar disorder. Life is full of stressful events. However, different women have distinct reasons to get stressed. What one woman can find stressful, others might thrive upon them. Scientists believe that stress can initiate bipolar disorder in women, who never faced illness before.
Everyone feels that once bipolar disorder starts, it continues to flourish and gets nurtured through several physical & psychological means.
Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar Disorder’s symptoms or warning signs include:
1 Excessive crying
2 Feeling sad, empty or helpless
3 Fatigued or energy loss
4 Losing interest in things you loved to enjoy
5 Change in appetite or weight
6 Mental or physical sluggishness
7 Finding it difficult to concentrate
8 Sleeping too little or too much
9 Having thoughts of committing suicide
10 Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness
11 Extreme levels of irritability
12 Aggressive behavior
13 Poor judgment
If you can sense the bipolar disorder symptoms within you or someone you know, it is the right time for consulting a physician and getting an accurate mental health diagnosis.
Author Resource: http://www.womenscenter.com/ Dr. James S. Pendergraft opened the Orlando Women's Center in March 1996 to provide a full range of health care for women. http://www.womenscenter.com/
Article From: Article Asylum
Signs of Bipolar Disorder
Characterized by mood disorder, bipolar disorder is identified as shift in the mood, energy and functioning ability of a woman. You can further distinguish it by a woman experiencing several cycles of manic episode. Their episodes involve abnormally elevated frame of mind along with depressive symptoms or episodes. But, what actually causes these episodes?
Causes (or Triggers) behind Bipolar Disorder
Causes behind bipolar disorder in women have always puzzled scientists. Some researches have unearthed theories. However, no one yet has pinpointed the true trigger (external factors) of this malady. Let us have an understanding of some of these triggers, which have been uncovered by scientists through their researches on the disorder:
Makeup of a woman’s brain: Researches have indicated that difference in the makeup of a woman’s brain might be one of the causes for bipolar disorder. Two imperative regions of her brain can contain more of those cells, which send signals to every other part of the brain. Theory suggests that these cells can lead to an over stimulation of their organ. This correlates with what we recognize as a bipolar disorder symptom.
Role of Genetics: One of the researches also revealed that Genetics can play a role in causing bipolar disorder. Surveys amongst families of women with this disorder, have been done for supporting this theory. Studies showed that parents, brothers, sisters or children, who have the disorder, are usually apt for a certain type of mood disorder. In case of identical twins, there is 80 chance of both having the disorder, if one is already carrying it.
Stressful Environment: Some scientists even feel that stress filled life might also be a major factor behind precipitating bipolar disorder. Life is full of stressful events. However, different women have distinct reasons to get stressed. What one woman can find stressful, others might thrive upon them. Scientists believe that stress can initiate bipolar disorder in women, who never faced illness before.
Everyone feels that once bipolar disorder starts, it continues to flourish and gets nurtured through several physical & psychological means.
Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar Disorder’s symptoms or warning signs include:
1 Excessive crying
2 Feeling sad, empty or helpless
3 Fatigued or energy loss
4 Losing interest in things you loved to enjoy
5 Change in appetite or weight
6 Mental or physical sluggishness
7 Finding it difficult to concentrate
8 Sleeping too little or too much
9 Having thoughts of committing suicide
10 Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness
11 Extreme levels of irritability
12 Aggressive behavior
13 Poor judgment
If you can sense the bipolar disorder symptoms within you or someone you know, it is the right time for consulting a physician and getting an accurate mental health diagnosis.
Author Resource: http://www.womenscenter.com/ Dr. James S. Pendergraft opened the Orlando Women's Center in March 1996 to provide a full range of health care for women. http://www.womenscenter.com/
Article From: Article Asylum
Sunday, November 23, 2008
ADHD in Adults: Coping With Social Gatherings
By: A Nutt
While ADHD is commonly recognized in children, most people expect adults to be able to hide the fact that they have a problem. Social gatherings and meetings can cause a lot of anxiety in someone who suffers from ADHD and this can even cause them to avoid social situations. It doesn t have to be this way, though. There are coping strategies to make even the most important meeting go well.
Concerns
Most ADHD adults have difficulty staying focused on conversations for any length of time, so it s not hard to imagine how trying it is to understand an entire meeting or speech. Unfortunately, those moments when the mind wanders are often the most important ones and this can cause problems later on when the facts are needed.
A social function, be it a picnic or a company party, can be emotionally and mentally exhausting if you are struggling to pay attention and to avoid blurting out something inappropriate. What should be fun turns into something more like work and requires a lot of energy just to make it through a couple of hours. This is the reason that many ADHD adults avoid social gatherings and prefer to spend their downtime away from other people.
Fortunately, there are ways to stay more focused during these social outings, making them less stressful and easier to deal with.
Strategies for Social Situations
• Keep it simple. Whenever possible, keep the social situation as stress free as possible. Choose to go to a movie or show instead of hosting or attending a party, which can be very distracting.
• Take notes. While this is not something you ll want to do in front of people, it can be handy to keep a notebook on hand to jot notes on people throughout the event or meeting. This can be invaluable when you need to contact someone again or talk to your boss about the meeting.
• Listen more than you talk. Even if your attention tends to wander, it s a lot easier to be in a social situation where you don t really need to say anything. Most people are more than thrilled to talk about themselves, so all you need to do is ask a question now and then and you ll be rewarded with plenty of talking.
• Find a way to be interested. Think about how you can use the information gleaned in the meeting for future projects. Many ADHD adults find that when they are interested in something, they really can focus on information input quite well. All you need to do is find the method of promoting interest in yourself.
• Opt for enjoyable outings. Rather than force yourself to go to a dozen corporate Christmas parties over the holidays, why not look for something you enjoy more, like a concert? Attend only the social gatherings that you absolutely must and the rest should be ones that you enjoy and feel comfortable with.
• Take someone along. Having a spouse or good friend with you allows you to break away from time to time when you simply can t stick to a conversation. Also, having someone who understands you can be a big help when you are feeling uncomfortable and lets you join someone who will understand if you are in need of a break.
ADHD in adults can cause some serious problems in social situations if you don t have a plan. Know what you can do to stay focused and to avoid embarrassing situations before you go in. This, coupled with support from a loved one, can help make all the difference in how you approach these gatherings.
Author Resource:-> ADD ADHD doctor provides solutions for situations that can prevent you from doing your best at work, school or in relationships. For treatment and recommendations of ADD and ADHD, consider Dr.Svec Institute of Psychological Services. http://www.drsvec.com
Article From Free Article Publishing
HOW TO TAME TOXIC EMOTIONS
As spring and summer arrive, we dust out shelves, clear out clutter and spruce up our homes. With all this attention to our surroundings, it’s little surprise that we barely take time to do some decluttering on the inside. You know, sweep away those negative emotions that throw us for a loop. Too often we’re busy with the practicalities of the day to analyze the abstractions.
But unresolved negative emotions can result in poor health, broken relationships and unfulfilled dreams. Here, we show you how to cleanse five toxic emotions and get back to feeling centered.
Anger
What’s the score? “Anger has different faces, frustration, self pity,” says Dr. James Miklos of the New Hope Counselling Centre in Ontario. “It can be slow simmering thoughts on the back burner.” Other factors that may trigger temper tantrums include having unreasonable expectations, feeling you can’t control what’s happening in your life, or wounded pride. Everyone feels emotions such as anger at some point. However, emotions become toxic when you can’t let them go; they’re as much a part of you as your hairstyle or stride.
The fallout: It’s no coincidence feelings are often explained physiologically — “My blood was boiling,” or “I was about to explode.” Emotions spring from thoughts in the brain, which trigger bodily responses — explaining how posture, tone of voice and facial expression can reveal our emotions — it's the mind-body connection at work. “With anger, for instance, you’re actually wearing your body down, because you’re pumping adrenaline through it,” says Miklos, “It creates undue stress on your body; you’re in a hyper-alert mode, constantly tense.”
And constant tension can lead to a slew of health problems, from back pain, to change in appetite, extreme fatigue, anxiety and ulcers. Anger also narrows your perspective, which makes you impossible to reason with. Not exactly a fun ride for the people in your life. Beyond desiring to dodge any direct hits, people simply won’t want to get stuck under that cloud of fury that surrounds you.
What to do? A good first step to take is to remove yourself from the situation, if possible. If your friend always nitpicks about your home and it’s driving you up your newly faux-finished walls, invite her over less — go for walks in the park together or dine at her place instead.
If you can’t escape a particular situation that’s increasing your ire, like your job or a nightmare neighbor, get moving. “Physical exercise is good because you’re cleansing your body,” says Miklos. “Endorphins and dopamine [produced during exercise] make you feel better so you can handle challenges better.” Meditation and prayer can also help you cope. Miklos states that people who pray daily and meditate claim they feel calmer, more confident and relaxed.
Of course, few emotions are resolved overnight. So if anger has been your companion for a while, you may want to speak to a professional. According to Miklos, emotions are tied to core beliefs, which are early life experiences that influence how we respond. Therapy can help resolve core beliefs, opening up new ways of resolving toxic emotions and reactions.
Envy
What’s the score? Everyone comments on your sister-in-law’s beauty and her meticulous home. Everyone, but you. Deep inside you feel that other people’s achievements or gifts are personal slights against you. “Envy involves resenting the goods…talents…that other people possess,” writes Daniel Goleman in Healing Emotions: Conversations with the Dalai Lama on Mindfulness, Emotions and Health. The seed of envy is a sense of not measuring up, of not being “as worthy.” It’s also inextricably tied to competitiveness.
The fallout: Short, intermittent envy is pretty ordinary, not good, but ordinary. Your colleague gets a coveted project you wanted, or your brother is having his third child and you and your partner are still trying…these are likely to stir your green-eyed monster for a brief period. But if your envy causes you to badmouth your colleague or constantly deride your brother’s parenting, well you’ve got a few issues. Envy is also an emptying emotion — even if you were to acquire what you envied in someone else, you’d likely start feeling envious about something else. It’s a bottomless pit.
What to do: It won’t be easy, but try to befriend the person you resent. According to Rabbi Nilton Bonder, author of The Kabbalah of Envy, “all envy springs from a ‘short-circuit’ of love.” Let your colleague know she can count on you if she needs help with the project. Or, try learning from the person you envy, if what she has is really important to you. If you want that showcase home, ask your sister-in-law her secret. Also, stop looking outside for validation. Instead, pinpoint five or six things that make you unique and start appreciating them.
Fear
What’s the score? We all feel fear in myriad situations, from the time we’re born, to perhaps our last breath. It’s a primary emotion — often a first reaction to some stimuli like a snake or the dark. And it can also be a good thing, for instance as a flight mechanism from a fire or attacker. But fear’s also a secondary emotion — a learned reaction. For instance, if you’ve faced heartbreak before, thoughts of being hurt or disappointed may give you cold feet when it comes to committing to someone else. In this case, fear’s tied to a core belief.
The fallout: In its less harmful form fear can disappear as quickly as it appeared. But the chronic variety can create anxiety, social paralysis (like not wanting to take chances or try something new), or lead to anger or hatred. As Miklos sums it up: “Fear makes you totally counterproductive.”
What to do: Fear is talking to you all the time. A key to drowning it out may lie in simply talking back. “Positive self talk is a part of cognitive behavioural therapy,” says Miklos. “It builds up immunity against fear, making you able to talk yourself out of it. When we think something and speak it, our minds shift and our bodies respond.” Positive self talk also helps build courage. As Mark Twain once said: “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear.”
Hatred
What’s the score? When you hate someone you’re basically saying you have such a strong aversion to this person, you’d gladly welcome some horrible fate to meet them. You’ve likely taken a quality about that person as an affront to your own values, or maybe they bring to the surface some of your own insecurities. So you avoid them, you gossip about them and try to help others into hating them too. Hatred is tied to both fear and anger.
The fallout: You’re likely doing more harm to yourself than to the object of your hatred. “Anytime we hate somebody, we have obsessive thinking about them. We’re allowing that person or the image of that person to control our lives. Sometimes to the point where some people can’t work,” says Miklos. According to him, in its passive form, fear may cause you to ignore or avoid the person you hate. But, the aggressive kind can lead to physically harming the person. Hatred also carries with it physical side effects, such as cardiovascular problems, high blood pressure, ulcers and headaches.
What to do: The first step is to pay attention to how much time you’re spending thinking about the other person, Miklos suggests. If thoughts are becoming obsessive, you need to get a little perspective. Forgiveness may help. “Fred Luskin wrote in Forgive for Good that it’s not about forgetting what the other person did, but rather, it’s a gift you give yourself,” says Miklos. If you’re harboring thoughts of doing some ill deed, however, you may want to speak to a counsellor to get to the root of your feelings.
Guilt
What’s the score? After your son reminded you for weeks of the date and time for his next soccer game, you still don’t make it. He’s upset and you’re welling up with guilt. It’s the sense that you’re responsible for something bad happening, for letting others down, or that to some degree, you’re to blame for someone else’s problem. Guilt is tied to our cultural values of right and wrong and can be a moral compass. If you’re a perfectionist or have low self esteem, you’re probably more prone to experiencing it.
The fallout: Brief guilt over a specific act isn’t toxic. But recurring, or long-lasting guilt can eat you up inside. It can lead to depression, anxiety, a sense of worthlessness, leading to negative internal dialogue like “I’m a bad mother for missing Matt’s soccer game.” A specific act suddenly becomes a blanket indictment of you as a parent, daughter, colleague, or friend.
What to do: Try to forgive yourself and focus on the things you do well. Really accept that sometimes you will make mistakes, and that you can’t be all things to everyone. Also, you’ll need to learn how to lovingly set some boundaries, which will take time, and may mean facing resentment from several people in your life. It’s a slow process, so navigate it with patience. If an underlying cause is to blame — like low self-esteem or perfectionism — a therapist can, through various methods of therapy, help you to resolve those issues.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Power of Concentration By Remez Sasson
When I was a child, I saw how a magnifying glass could burn a piece of paper, when the rays of the sun were focused through it. The fire could start only when the sun's rays were concentrated to a small point. When the magnifying glass was moved too far away or too close to the paper, the rays were not focused enough and nothing happened. This experience describes vividly the power of concentration.
This power can be described as focused attention. It is the ability to direct the attention to one single thought or subject, to the exclusion of everything else.
When our mind is focused, our energies are not dissipated on irrelevant activities or thoughts. This is why developing concentration is essential to anyone who aspires to take charge of his or her life. This skill is essential for every kind of success. Without it, our efforts get scattered, but with it, we can accomplish great things.
Concentration has many uses and benefits. It assists in studying and understanding faster, improves the memory, and helps in focusing on any task, job, activity or goal, and achieving it more easily and efficiently. It is also required for developing psychic powers, and is a powerful tool for the efficient use of creative visualization.
When this ability is developed, the mind obeys us more readily and does not engage in futile, negative thoughts or worries. We gain mental mastery and we experience true peace of mind.
This ability also plays an important role in meditataion. Without it, the mind just jumps restlessly from one thought to another, not allowing us to meditate properly.
Do you now realize, why it is very important and worthwhile to develop and improve the ability to concentrate?
To develop this power you need to train and exercise it. Forget all your excuses about not having the time or being too busy. Do not say that the circumstances are not appropriate or that you cannot find a quiet place to exercise. With a little planning, desire and motivation you can always find the time to exercise each day, no matter how busy you are.
The Restless Mind
Thoughts claim our attention incessantly, and waste our time and energy on unimportant and useless matters. They actually rule our life. We have become so used to this slavery, that we take it for granted, and have become unconscious of this habit, except on certain occasions.
While breathing, we do not need to pay attention to each inhalation and exhalation. We become conscious of the process of breathing, only when we have some difficulty with breathing, such as when our nose is clogged, due to a cold, or when we are in an unventilated room.
It is the same with thinking. We become conscious of the constant onslaught of our thoughts, and of our inability to calm them down, only when we need to concentrate, solve a problem or study. We are also acutely aware of them when we have worries or fears.
Look at the following familiar situation. You need to study something for your job or for an exam. You sit comfortably on the sofa with the book in your hands and start reading. After a while you feel hungry and go to the kitchen to eat something.
You return to read, and then hear you people talking outside. You listen to them for several moments and then bring your attention back to the book.
After a while you feel restless and switch on the radio to listen to some music. You continue to read for a little while, and then remember something that happened yesterday, and you start thinking about it.
When you look at your watch, you are amazed to find out that one complete hour has passed and you have hardly read anything.
This is what happens when one lacks concentration. Imagine what you could have accomplished, if you could control your attention and focus your mind!
Work that requires physical strength, such as carrying heavy loads for example, develops physical strength. Yet, it is not as exercising daily to the gym in a systematic manner. It is the same with concentration. Reading, studying and trying to pay attention to what we do, develop some of this ability, but practicing exercises diligently each day is something else, it is like training in a gym.
Inner resistance to developing concentration
In order to develop this ability we have to train our minds. Most people think that concentration is a strenuous and tiring activity, and that it involves exertion and tension, which are difficult and unpleasant.
This belief starts at an early age. Parents and teachers expect children to study, do their homework and get good grades. This brings up in the children a feeling of being coerced and forced to do something they don't like doing. When they are too often told that they are not concentrating good enough, they develop a loathing for concentration, and often for studying too. These become associated with coercion, lack of freedom, doing something they do not like to do, and which is against their will. When they grow up, it is no wonder that their powers of concentration are weak, and they have no desire to strain their minds.
Though most people acknowledge the fact that good concentration is a great asset, yet most of them do nothing to strengthen it, mostly because they don't know how. Reading and thinking about its benefits, and about the reasons why it should be cultivated, can help to change the attitude toward it.
Concentration can be fun if approached in the right way. It should be practiced with joy, fun, optimism, and understanding of its great possibilities. It has to be approached in a positive manner and then success dawns.
The benefits of developing concentration
Sometimes you can find strong powers of concentration in yourself. When you really and earnestly want to excel in your studies, pass an important exam or solve a problem, this power becomes available to you. In such cases, it appears because of some need or desire, but developing it in a systematic way brings it under your control, and grants you the ability to use it intentionally, whenever you need it. To do so, you need to practice special exercises on a daily basis.
Here is what you can gain by developing this power:
-Control of your thoughts.
-The ability to focus your mind.
-Peace of mind.
-Freedom from futile and annoying thoughts.
-The ability to choose your thoughts.
-Better memory.
-Self-confidence.
-Inner strength.
-Will power.
-Decisiveness.
-The ability to study and comprehend more quickly.
-Inner happiness.
-Enhanced capability to develop psychic abilities.
-More powerful and efficient use of creative visualization.
-Enhanced ability to meditate.
-And much more...
Seems too good to be true? Develop the power of concentration and find out for yourself!
So what about starting to develop concentration power today?
In part two of this article you will find advice and exercises for developing and strengthening this ability.
This power can be described as focused attention. It is the ability to direct the attention to one single thought or subject, to the exclusion of everything else.
When our mind is focused, our energies are not dissipated on irrelevant activities or thoughts. This is why developing concentration is essential to anyone who aspires to take charge of his or her life. This skill is essential for every kind of success. Without it, our efforts get scattered, but with it, we can accomplish great things.
Concentration has many uses and benefits. It assists in studying and understanding faster, improves the memory, and helps in focusing on any task, job, activity or goal, and achieving it more easily and efficiently. It is also required for developing psychic powers, and is a powerful tool for the efficient use of creative visualization.
When this ability is developed, the mind obeys us more readily and does not engage in futile, negative thoughts or worries. We gain mental mastery and we experience true peace of mind.
This ability also plays an important role in meditataion. Without it, the mind just jumps restlessly from one thought to another, not allowing us to meditate properly.
Do you now realize, why it is very important and worthwhile to develop and improve the ability to concentrate?
To develop this power you need to train and exercise it. Forget all your excuses about not having the time or being too busy. Do not say that the circumstances are not appropriate or that you cannot find a quiet place to exercise. With a little planning, desire and motivation you can always find the time to exercise each day, no matter how busy you are.
The Restless Mind
Thoughts claim our attention incessantly, and waste our time and energy on unimportant and useless matters. They actually rule our life. We have become so used to this slavery, that we take it for granted, and have become unconscious of this habit, except on certain occasions.
While breathing, we do not need to pay attention to each inhalation and exhalation. We become conscious of the process of breathing, only when we have some difficulty with breathing, such as when our nose is clogged, due to a cold, or when we are in an unventilated room.
It is the same with thinking. We become conscious of the constant onslaught of our thoughts, and of our inability to calm them down, only when we need to concentrate, solve a problem or study. We are also acutely aware of them when we have worries or fears.
Look at the following familiar situation. You need to study something for your job or for an exam. You sit comfortably on the sofa with the book in your hands and start reading. After a while you feel hungry and go to the kitchen to eat something.
You return to read, and then hear you people talking outside. You listen to them for several moments and then bring your attention back to the book.
After a while you feel restless and switch on the radio to listen to some music. You continue to read for a little while, and then remember something that happened yesterday, and you start thinking about it.
When you look at your watch, you are amazed to find out that one complete hour has passed and you have hardly read anything.
This is what happens when one lacks concentration. Imagine what you could have accomplished, if you could control your attention and focus your mind!
Work that requires physical strength, such as carrying heavy loads for example, develops physical strength. Yet, it is not as exercising daily to the gym in a systematic manner. It is the same with concentration. Reading, studying and trying to pay attention to what we do, develop some of this ability, but practicing exercises diligently each day is something else, it is like training in a gym.
Inner resistance to developing concentration
In order to develop this ability we have to train our minds. Most people think that concentration is a strenuous and tiring activity, and that it involves exertion and tension, which are difficult and unpleasant.
This belief starts at an early age. Parents and teachers expect children to study, do their homework and get good grades. This brings up in the children a feeling of being coerced and forced to do something they don't like doing. When they are too often told that they are not concentrating good enough, they develop a loathing for concentration, and often for studying too. These become associated with coercion, lack of freedom, doing something they do not like to do, and which is against their will. When they grow up, it is no wonder that their powers of concentration are weak, and they have no desire to strain their minds.
Though most people acknowledge the fact that good concentration is a great asset, yet most of them do nothing to strengthen it, mostly because they don't know how. Reading and thinking about its benefits, and about the reasons why it should be cultivated, can help to change the attitude toward it.
Concentration can be fun if approached in the right way. It should be practiced with joy, fun, optimism, and understanding of its great possibilities. It has to be approached in a positive manner and then success dawns.
The benefits of developing concentration
Sometimes you can find strong powers of concentration in yourself. When you really and earnestly want to excel in your studies, pass an important exam or solve a problem, this power becomes available to you. In such cases, it appears because of some need or desire, but developing it in a systematic way brings it under your control, and grants you the ability to use it intentionally, whenever you need it. To do so, you need to practice special exercises on a daily basis.
Here is what you can gain by developing this power:
-Control of your thoughts.
-The ability to focus your mind.
-Peace of mind.
-Freedom from futile and annoying thoughts.
-The ability to choose your thoughts.
-Better memory.
-Self-confidence.
-Inner strength.
-Will power.
-Decisiveness.
-The ability to study and comprehend more quickly.
-Inner happiness.
-Enhanced capability to develop psychic abilities.
-More powerful and efficient use of creative visualization.
-Enhanced ability to meditate.
-And much more...
Seems too good to be true? Develop the power of concentration and find out for yourself!
So what about starting to develop concentration power today?
In part two of this article you will find advice and exercises for developing and strengthening this ability.
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Power of Negative Thinking
Negative thinking appears to be more prevalent than positive thinking. It seems that with most people positive thinking requires some effort, whereas negative thinking comes easily and uninvited. This has much to do with education and the environment one has been living in.
If you have been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere, where people value success and self-improvement, then it will be easier for you to think positively and expect success. If you have been brought up under poor or difficult situations, you will probably go on expecting difficulties and failure.
We all view everything through our predominant mental attitude. If our thoughts are positive, that is fine, but if they are negative, our lives and circumstances will probably mirror these thoughts.
If you believe that you are going to fail, you will unconsciously sabotage every opportunity to succeed. If you are afraid of meeting new people or having close relationships, you will do everything to avoid people and relationships, and then complain that you are lonely and nobody loves you.
Do you often think about difficulties, failure and disasters? Do you keep thinking about the negative news you have seen on the TV or read in the newspapers?
Do you see yourself stuck and unable to improve your life or your health? Do you frequently think that you do not deserve happiness or money, or that it is too difficult to get them? If you do, then you will close your mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such ways, as to repel people and opportunities.
The mind does not usually judge or examine thoughts and opinions before accepting them. If what it hears, sees and reads is always negative, it accepts this as the standard way of thinking and behavior.
The media constantly bombards the mind with a lot of information about disasters, catastrophes, wars and other unhappy events. This information sinks into the subconscious mind, and then manifests as your habitual manner of thinking. By occupying the mind with depressing and pessimistic thoughts you radiate negative energy into the surrounding world, thus creating and recreating more negativity, failures and disasters.
The mind is neutral energy. The way you think determines whether the results are positive and beneficial or negative and harmful. It is the same of energy acting in different ways.
The good news are that persistent inner work can change habits of thinking. You must be willing to put energy and time to pursue positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude.
A few Tips:
- Each time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, reject the thought, and think a positive one instead.
- If you catch yourself visualizing failure, visualize success instead.
- If you hear yourself uttering negative words, change to positive words instead.
- When you say, "I cannot", say, "I can".
- Do you repeat negative words and phrases in your mind? Change them to positive ones.
- Open your mind to positive attitude and expect positive results.
- Decide that from today, from this very moment, you are leaving negative thinking behind, and starting on the way toward positive thinking and behavior.
It is never too late to change your attitude and your life.
Remez Sasson teaches and writes on positive thinking, creative visualization, motivation, self-improvement, peace of mind, spiritual growth and meditation. He is the author of several books, among which are "Peace of mind in Daily Life", "Will Power and Self Discipline", "Visualize and Achieve" and "Affirmations - Words of Power".
Visit his website and find articles and books filled with inspiration, motivation and practical advice and guidance.Website: http://www.SuccessConsciousness.comBooks: http://www.successconsciousness.com/ebooks_and_books.htm
If you have been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere, where people value success and self-improvement, then it will be easier for you to think positively and expect success. If you have been brought up under poor or difficult situations, you will probably go on expecting difficulties and failure.
We all view everything through our predominant mental attitude. If our thoughts are positive, that is fine, but if they are negative, our lives and circumstances will probably mirror these thoughts.
If you believe that you are going to fail, you will unconsciously sabotage every opportunity to succeed. If you are afraid of meeting new people or having close relationships, you will do everything to avoid people and relationships, and then complain that you are lonely and nobody loves you.
Do you often think about difficulties, failure and disasters? Do you keep thinking about the negative news you have seen on the TV or read in the newspapers?
Do you see yourself stuck and unable to improve your life or your health? Do you frequently think that you do not deserve happiness or money, or that it is too difficult to get them? If you do, then you will close your mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such ways, as to repel people and opportunities.
The mind does not usually judge or examine thoughts and opinions before accepting them. If what it hears, sees and reads is always negative, it accepts this as the standard way of thinking and behavior.
The media constantly bombards the mind with a lot of information about disasters, catastrophes, wars and other unhappy events. This information sinks into the subconscious mind, and then manifests as your habitual manner of thinking. By occupying the mind with depressing and pessimistic thoughts you radiate negative energy into the surrounding world, thus creating and recreating more negativity, failures and disasters.
The mind is neutral energy. The way you think determines whether the results are positive and beneficial or negative and harmful. It is the same of energy acting in different ways.
The good news are that persistent inner work can change habits of thinking. You must be willing to put energy and time to pursue positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude.
A few Tips:
- Each time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, reject the thought, and think a positive one instead.
- If you catch yourself visualizing failure, visualize success instead.
- If you hear yourself uttering negative words, change to positive words instead.
- When you say, "I cannot", say, "I can".
- Do you repeat negative words and phrases in your mind? Change them to positive ones.
- Open your mind to positive attitude and expect positive results.
- Decide that from today, from this very moment, you are leaving negative thinking behind, and starting on the way toward positive thinking and behavior.
It is never too late to change your attitude and your life.
Remez Sasson teaches and writes on positive thinking, creative visualization, motivation, self-improvement, peace of mind, spiritual growth and meditation. He is the author of several books, among which are "Peace of mind in Daily Life", "Will Power and Self Discipline", "Visualize and Achieve" and "Affirmations - Words of Power".
Visit his website and find articles and books filled with inspiration, motivation and practical advice and guidance.Website: http://www.SuccessConsciousness.comBooks: http://www.successconsciousness.com/ebooks_and_books.htm
Friday, November 7, 2008
Reclaim Your Assertive Birthright
The idea that some of us are born more confident than others is false. We are all born confident. That means you can re-capture your true birthright, which is to be the naturally assertive person you really are.
As little children, we are all supremely assertive. Up until the age of about 3, we display all the characteristics of confident human beings:
· we are able to express our needs freely
· we trust others unconditionally
· we are innocently allowed to be ourselves
· we are wide-eyed and endlessly curious about our world
· we have fun, laughter and play
· we are instinctively creative
· we can express our feelings out loud whether joy or sadness
· we live totally in the present
· we have a huge potential for growth.
The trouble is, things don't last. Around the age of 3, when our thinking brain kicks in, we start to learn that the world isn't how we thought it was at all. As a result of what our parents, siblings, and teachers tell us, we learn that freedom must be restricted, play activity has no longer any value unless it is useful, others are no longer sources of interest and enjoyment but strangers to be treated with suspicion, and needs that were expressed and promptly met now have to take their place in the queue.
In short, out goes unconditional love and in comes blame and fear.
Our response is to protect ourselves against the world and we do that with 3 kinds of programmes:
1. The Blame Programme. The Blame Programme teaches us that when things don't go the way they should, someone or something must be to blame. This creates two versions of the programming.
1. We look outward at someone or something to blame. We set ourselves up in the role of Persecutor. Because nobody seems to come up to the mark, we take it upon ourselves to be critic, judge and condemner.
2. We look inward and blame ourselves. It is our fault when things go wrong. We set ourselves up in the role of Victim. As victims we hope that others will recognise our unhappiness and come to rescue us.
In one simple programming, we thus create aggressive and passive responses that can last a whole lifetime.
2. The False Self Programme. When we lose our true self that belongs to babyhood, we create a new programme based upon the now-hostile world.
Some of the beliefs of the False Self programme are...
1. forgiveness is weakness
2. you change others by criticising them
3. your anger shows you're right and others are wrong
4. revenge helps you to establish justice
5. it is weakness to ever let yourself be vulnerable
6. judging others proves what a good character you are
7. you protect yourself by attacking people and/or withdrawing love in order to control them through fear, guilt and shame
8. manipulating and deceiving others can help you to become successful.
3. The False Life Script Programme. The false life-script programme is the third programme we learn and it satisfies our early life needs for some kind of identity. This programme tells us who we are, what we are good at or bad at, how well we conform, how well we relate to others and how the rest of our lives should be led.
Unfortunately, the programme is false because it is written by others, not by us. Consequently, the programme gives us...
* other people's labels for us, such as Naughty Nigel, Earnest Eric, Solemn Sue
* their roles for us to perform, such as dutiful housewife, dynamic executive, happy handyman
* the life script of being either a victim of life or a persecutor in life.
Only when we realise the falseness of the life-script programme can we break free of it.
As a result of our early experiences of dealing with the world, most of us lose our natural assertiveness. We come to believe that it is normal to respond to the world in either aggressive or non-assertive modes, with all the miserable consequences that these behaviours produce. But our assertiveness hasn't gone away. It is still there and it is our birthright. If you want to re-claim it, just read again what you were like as a little child, and be assertive:
· we are able to express our needs freely
· we trust others unconditionally
· we are innocently allowed to be ourselves
· we are wide-eyed and endlessly curious about our world
· we have fun, laughter and play
· we are instinctively creative
· we can express our feelings out loud whether joy or sadness
· we live totally in the present
· we have a huge potential for growth.
As little children, we are all supremely assertive. Up until the age of about 3, we display all the characteristics of confident human beings:
· we are able to express our needs freely
· we trust others unconditionally
· we are innocently allowed to be ourselves
· we are wide-eyed and endlessly curious about our world
· we have fun, laughter and play
· we are instinctively creative
· we can express our feelings out loud whether joy or sadness
· we live totally in the present
· we have a huge potential for growth.
The trouble is, things don't last. Around the age of 3, when our thinking brain kicks in, we start to learn that the world isn't how we thought it was at all. As a result of what our parents, siblings, and teachers tell us, we learn that freedom must be restricted, play activity has no longer any value unless it is useful, others are no longer sources of interest and enjoyment but strangers to be treated with suspicion, and needs that were expressed and promptly met now have to take their place in the queue.
In short, out goes unconditional love and in comes blame and fear.
Our response is to protect ourselves against the world and we do that with 3 kinds of programmes:
1. The Blame Programme. The Blame Programme teaches us that when things don't go the way they should, someone or something must be to blame. This creates two versions of the programming.
1. We look outward at someone or something to blame. We set ourselves up in the role of Persecutor. Because nobody seems to come up to the mark, we take it upon ourselves to be critic, judge and condemner.
2. We look inward and blame ourselves. It is our fault when things go wrong. We set ourselves up in the role of Victim. As victims we hope that others will recognise our unhappiness and come to rescue us.
In one simple programming, we thus create aggressive and passive responses that can last a whole lifetime.
2. The False Self Programme. When we lose our true self that belongs to babyhood, we create a new programme based upon the now-hostile world.
Some of the beliefs of the False Self programme are...
1. forgiveness is weakness
2. you change others by criticising them
3. your anger shows you're right and others are wrong
4. revenge helps you to establish justice
5. it is weakness to ever let yourself be vulnerable
6. judging others proves what a good character you are
7. you protect yourself by attacking people and/or withdrawing love in order to control them through fear, guilt and shame
8. manipulating and deceiving others can help you to become successful.
3. The False Life Script Programme. The false life-script programme is the third programme we learn and it satisfies our early life needs for some kind of identity. This programme tells us who we are, what we are good at or bad at, how well we conform, how well we relate to others and how the rest of our lives should be led.
Unfortunately, the programme is false because it is written by others, not by us. Consequently, the programme gives us...
* other people's labels for us, such as Naughty Nigel, Earnest Eric, Solemn Sue
* their roles for us to perform, such as dutiful housewife, dynamic executive, happy handyman
* the life script of being either a victim of life or a persecutor in life.
Only when we realise the falseness of the life-script programme can we break free of it.
As a result of our early experiences of dealing with the world, most of us lose our natural assertiveness. We come to believe that it is normal to respond to the world in either aggressive or non-assertive modes, with all the miserable consequences that these behaviours produce. But our assertiveness hasn't gone away. It is still there and it is our birthright. If you want to re-claim it, just read again what you were like as a little child, and be assertive:
· we are able to express our needs freely
· we trust others unconditionally
· we are innocently allowed to be ourselves
· we are wide-eyed and endlessly curious about our world
· we have fun, laughter and play
· we are instinctively creative
· we can express our feelings out loud whether joy or sadness
· we live totally in the present
· we have a huge potential for growth.
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